Lately I’ve been thinking about how so many young ladies want to know how to have a godly friendship with a young man. I once asked these same questions.
So when I developed a friendship with a guy, I got on a site for Christian teenage girls called GirlDefined and read every single post they had on the topic. That, mixed with the talks I had with my mom, helped me to make wise decisions concerning just being friends with this guy. Here’s some of what I learned:
1: Have a TMI (too much information) line you don’t cross. Example: Talk as much as you like about what’s going on in the world; things such as about politics, movies, music, and things like that are up for discussion as long as you both are interested. When it comes to personal issues, though, you want to be careful. What I mean is, don’t share your heart too much. Don’t allow everything to hang out to dry so to speak. Also, don’t share anything that is strictly a female concern. Don’t talk about your bedroom, about how long it took you to put on makeup that day, or any personal female problem. This just puts both of you into an awkward situation. This isn’t a rule I’m trying to shove off on you, just some advice from one girl to another.
2: Ask your Mom or Dad to keep you accountable. This might sound like the worst idea ever to some of you, but it really works. I
c c n my case, this means that my mom reads my texts to my guy friends or that when I do hang out with him, we’re chaperoned. This is just to make sure we’re both pure in the way we talk and act. Your situation might be different so you’d have to talk with your parents to see what works for you.
3: Let your main focus of your friendship be to seek to build him up in Christ. As Christians, that should be our main focus on everything in life. Not only is this good for you, but it leaves a lot less room for misunderstandings to take hold. Ways you can easily do this is to pray for him daily (I asked my friend what ways I could pray for him). Ask him how his Bible study is going and what God is teaching him, or maybe have a Bible study together. My friend and I had one weekly before school started back and that’s a great way to learn and grow. Also, you can bring up important subjects like talk a bout some biblical subject that’s important to you.
4: Read some good books on godly womanhood. There are some really great ones out there. If you work on growing into the kind of young woman you ought to be, you will be a blessing to any guy you are friends with.
5: Don’t read anything into anything. This is one of the easiest ways misunderstandings can arise. A friend of mine said, “Guys mean what they say and say what they mean.” If he says you look nice, he just means you look nice and nothing more. Don’t think he’s trying to flirt with you or to give you hidden messages when he says something kind; he’s most likely simply trying to be a gentlemen.
6: Last, be not least: Be ready for the fact that your friendship might not last forever. He very well could meet a young lady and end up in a relationship and any close friendships he has with anyone else would then need to end. If and when that time comes, don’t complain or get on to them like they are doing something horrible to you. Respond with grace, with care, and with all the support you can give him and let it be. Remember whatever happens to this friendship is God’s will. He has a plan for you that you might not understand just b yet.
These are just a few tips that I found helpful. Maybe my readers can add more?